Torah.org Home Subscribe Services Support Us
 
Print Version

Email this article to a friend

HURTFUL WORDS Part 2

Previously we discussed one aspect of the prohibition of speaking hurtful words. We saw that it is generally forbidden to speak harshly to people. However, there are a number of other aspects to this prohibition:

1. The Talmud states that it is forbidden to remind a person of past misdemeanors that he would rather forget1 . To remind him of such unpleasant memories is very likely to cause him considerable pain.

2. It is also forbidden to make fun of a person if there is any possibility that he will be hurt by it. It is very common that friends spend much time teasing each other about aspects of their character or appearance. This may be acceptable if there is absolutely no chance of causing anguish; however, very often, the victims of such ‘innocent’ joking do feel hurt. Many of us know that we do not appreciate personal jokes aimed at us and it is important to realize that just like we would prefer not to be the butt of such jokes, our friends may feel the same way. Moreover, even if we are not effected by teasing, other people may be more sensitive than us and may still feel hurt.

3. Another aspect of joking that is often forbidden is making practical jokes, such as telling a person the wrong directions. This also causes a person discomfort and loss of valuable time and effort.

4. Similarly, it is forbidden to enter into a shop and look around at the items for sale with absolutely no intention of every buying them. Doing this will inevitably cause the shop owner to have unfounded expectations of a sale. However, if one wants to look at the items to see if he may want to buy them some time in the future, this is permitted2 .

The laws of ‘hurtful words’ teach us the importance of being sensitive to the feelings of our fellow man. This concept includes any speech that could even inadvertently cause pain. Many people are sensitive about specific things and talking about such matters are very likely to cause them discomfort. For example, if a person is suffering a certain difficulty in a certain area, it may be insensitive to discuss other people’s success in that same area, because to do so will likely remind them of their lacking in that area.

Like all commandments, this one is intended to cause us to improve as a person. Someone who is careful to avoid harming people with his words will surely develop into a highly sensitive person.

1 Bava Metsia, 58b.
2 Heard from Rav Yitzchak Berkovits Shlita. However, there are authorities who hold that if one does not have money with him he should not look at the items. (Mishpatey Shalom, p.87.).


Text Copyright © 2008 by Rabbi Yehonasan Gefen and Torah.org


 






ARTICLES ON KI SEITZEI AND ELUL / ROSH HASHANAH:

View Complete List

Lessons on Prayer
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5760

To Be Respected
Rabbi Label Lam - 5769

The Value Inherent in Kindness
Rabbi Shlomo Jarcaig - 5761

ArtScroll

Teshuva—Paradigm Shift
Rabbi Eliyahu Hoffmann - 5765

The Beautiful Accompaniment
Shlomo Katz - 5761

Everything Depends on Our Teshuvah
Rabbi Label Lam - 5773

Frumster - Orthodox Jewish Dating

More and More Ourselves
Rabbi Label Lam - 5764

Parshas Ki Seitzei
Shlomo Katz - 5769

Going In To War
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5760

Looking for a Chavrusah?

Are We listening?
Rabbi Yaakov Menken - 5762

Spiritual Climates
Shlomo Katz - 5773

A Time of Introspection
Rabbi Dovid Green - 5759

> Guaranteed Eternity
Rabbi Aron Tendler - 5762

Repentance and Changing History
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5759

We're Our Own Enemy
Rabbi Berel Wein - 5761

Elul
Rabbi Berel Wein - 5755



Project Genesis

Torah.org Home


Torah Portion

Jewish Law

Ethics

Texts

Learn the Basics

Seasons

Features

TORAHAUDIO

Ask The Rabbi

Knowledge Base




Help

About Us

Contact Us



Free Book on Geulah!




Torah.org Home
Torah.org HomeCapalon.com Copyright Information