Torah.org Home Subscribe Services Support Us
 
Print Version

Email this article to a friend

KEEPING PACE

Rabbi Raymond Beyda

The human being is expected to grow intellectually and in maturity not merely in size and weight like other creations such as plants and animals. The character of a person should improve and refine with age like fine wines. And so G-d planned the world in a way that would be conducive to personal growth.

One of the built in training devices is called marriage. The Torah describes a man's mate as --"ezer k'negdo"-- a helper corresponding [opposite] to him. People are different one from another. Men are different than women and the differences are more than just physical. In any relationship one moves faster than the other. The trick to domestic tranquility is not that one must necessarily slow down or speed up to move exactly in sync with one's mate. The trick is really to learn how to react to the difference in pace. One great Rabbi in Yerushalayim was always ready to leave for a happy occasions before his wife was done getting dressed. In most instances he kept busy with learning or some other important activity while he waited for her to announce, "I am ready, let's go!" One time the couple was invited to the wedding of one of the Rosh Yeshiva's student's. The Rosh Yeshivah had a very pressing matter to attend to the same evening, therefore he requested from his wife, "Tonight we must leave no later than 6 PM as I cannot stay past 8PM and I must show proper respect to the groom and bride before I depart. Please be sure to be ready promptly at 6." Well, the well-intentioned wife tried her best but was not ready until 6:30. When she finally came to the door to leave the anxious Rosh Yeshivah accepted her apology and gave her an admiring look as if to appreciate every detail of her simple but dignified wedding suit. "Kedai", he said --"It was worth the wait".

Today when you can't handle a delay caused by someone close to you--especially your mate--stop. Don't blow up. Take a deep breath and react with an understanding statement. It only takes a minute but it is part of your growth process. A nuclear reaction only brings war while a reasoned response will yield shelom bayit.

DID YOU KNOW THAT

When one recites the Keriyat Shema one must have in mind the meaning of the words, and if one did not do so one must wait silently the amount of time it takes to say the first paragraph, and then repeat the first sentence again paying attention to the meaning of the words [one then continues to read from V'Ahabta][. One is not allowed to signal, not even for a misvah, even with one's eyes, while reading the Shema as it is a distraction from reading with intent. There is a leniency to signal with one's eyes in the second paragraph, but only for a misvah.

[Source Ben Ish Hai]


Text Copyright © 2003 Rabbi Raymond Beyda and Project Genesis, Inc.


 






ARTICLES ON VAYEITZEI AND CHANUKAH:

View Complete List

To Beat 'Em - You Can't Join 'Em
Rabbi Eliyahu Hoffmann - 5764

Living Lessons
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5766

Out of Luck - Into G-d
Rabbi Pinchas Winston - 5761

Frumster - Orthodox Jewish Dating

That's Chanukah
Rabbi Label Lam - 5772

Nurture the Yaakov Avinu Within Ourselves
Rabbi Berel Wein - 5774

Rachel's Sacrifice
Rabbi Aron Tendler - 5760

> If Hashem Said to Go, You Go!
Rabbi Yisroel Ciner - 5758

Rabbi Frand on Parshas Vayeitzei
Rabbi Yissocher Frand - 5770

How Yosef Got His Job
Rabbi Yissocher Frand - 5774

ArtScroll

The Meaning of Miracles
Rabbi Yehudah Prero - 5766

Power To Choose
Rabbi Pinchas Avruch - 5765

Twin Peaks
Rabbi Eliyahu Hoffmann - 5768

Looking for a Chavrusah?

Stagnation is Descent
Rabbi Yissocher Frand - 5758

A Matter of Honour
Rabbi Eliyahu Hoffmann - 5763

Every Nana Second
Rabbi Label Lam - 5772

Torah Education
Rabbi Wein - 5768



Project Genesis

Torah.org Home


Torah Portion

Jewish Law

Ethics

Texts

Learn the Basics

Seasons

Features

TORAHAUDIO

Ask The Rabbi

Knowledge Base




Help

About Us

Contact Us



Free Book on Geulah!




Torah.org Home
Torah.org HomeCapalon.com Copyright Information