"But" is a word that usually signals Lashon Hara --negative speech. For example, "Jacob is a nice guy BUT I suspect his honesty" or "Sarah is a good cook BUT I can't stand her taste in clothing." When one speaks negatively about another one can excuse oneself by testifying to the truth of the negative fact they have expressed. After all, can one be blamed for noticing an obvious flaw in another?
On the other hand, when the subject is "yours truly" the word "BUT" introduces an excuse for an error in judgment or flaw in personality. "I would have taken care of it BUT I did not realize that ..." or "Yes, I did do it BUT it was because..."
A "complainer" is a person who sees the negative in everyone and everything. Such an individual cannot accept the good in his or her surroundings for the need to complain about what is not to his or her satisfaction. This type of person would be happy -- BUT!
A happy person spends time explaining rather than complaining. Looking for the good in others and for the best in every situation the joyful soul does say BUT when justifying the negatives in another. "She would be a better dresser if she came from a better home" or "He would be a better learner if he got the proper tutoring."
Make your self and others happy. Train yourself to spend time explaining rather than can complaining. You can do it if you really try BUT maybe you haven't tried as yet!
DID YOU KNOW THAT
If one ate meat and within six hours erred and said a blessing on a product that is dairy -- he or she should taste a small amount of the dairy product so that the blessing will not have been said in vain.
The same rule applies if one said a blessing on meat in the Nine Days of Ab, or if one said a blessing on a fast day [except for Yom Kippur], or if one said a blessing on food or drink before Habdallah on Mosa-eh Shabbat -- one should taste a small amount to avoid the blessing becoming berakha l batallah [blessing said in vain].
However, if one said a blessing on non-kosher food -- one should not taste at all but instead should say "Barukh Shem K'Bod Malkhutoh Leolam Va-ed" [Source Yalkut Yosef Volume 3, Siman 172:2]
CONSIDER THIS FOR A MINUTE
Honor drives the heart of man more than all the desires in the world.
If not for honor -- a man would be content to have his minimum needs for food, clothing and shelter met. Earning his livelihood would be easy for him, and he would not have to exert himself to become rich.
BUT he engages in this so he does not have to see himself as lower than his fellow men
Mesillat Yesharim, Rabbi Moshe Hayim Luzzatto
Text Copyright © 2003 Rabbi Raymond Beyda and Project Genesis, Inc.