And they called Rebecca, and said unto her: ‘Will thou go with this man?’ And she said: ‘I will go.’ Breishis 24:58
Rashi comments: and she said, “I will go.” of my own accord, even if you do not desire it.
The Medrash says: They asked her in an incredulous way, in order to suggest to her that she should not go with Eliezer. And she answered, I will go” even against your will, even if it is not for your benefit. [1]
The Matnas Kehunah explains that since Rivkah did not say, Yes,” rather, “I will go,” she was saying that she would go, even against their will.
Rivka’s departure occurred just after the mourning period for her father Besuel. She was a young girl (either 3 or 13 according to the medrash) and was leaving her immediate family, alone, to marry Yitzchak. While she traveled with Eliezer’s entourage, she was essentially traveling alone, without her family, into unknown territory, and circumstances.
How did she find the inner strength, and determination to “go it alone?”
The answer lies in what occurred when she arrived.
The Torah states: And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebecca, and she became his wife; and he loved her. And Isaac was comforted for his mother. Breishis 24:67
Rashi comments: to the tent of Sarah his mother: He brought her to the tent, and behold, she was Sarah his mother; i.e., she became the likeness of Sarah his mother, for as long as Sarah was alive, a candle burned from one Sabbath eve to the next, a blessing was found in the dough, and a cloud was attached to the tent. When she died, these things ceased, and when Rebecca arrived, they resumed. [2]
It is clear that Rivka did travel alone—but with a single-minded purpose—to continue the values of her mother in law—Sarah—namely:
- Shabbos candles—making the sanctity of Shabbos and a purposeful meaningful life pervade her home and her life, from week to week;
- The freshness of the dough—meaning that she dedicated the family’s material resources—represented by bread– to freshness—service of the public through kind deeds.
- The cloud above her tent—that she was proactively involved in kedushah—meaning observing the laws of family purity.
These three symbols returned to Sarah’s tent when Rivka arrived, indicating that this is where she drew the strength to leave her family. She was not going away from, rather she was traveling toward meaning and purpose—this is the true meaning of being ‘alone.” With the values of chessed that she showed in caring for Eliezer’s camels and for Eliezer, she intuitively knew that these were the values that she was destined to continue as the wife of Yitzchak. This was her tzurah—her destiny—and a person’s sense of purpose overcomes the chomer—the physical/emotional pain of loneliness.
It is this single-minded dedication to Torah values that allowed Rivka to later attain prophecy when Rivka told Yaakov to dress in sheepskins, and to appear as if he were Esav in order to receive the blessings from Yitzchak. When Yaakov worried that:
My father peradventure will feel me, and I shall seem to him as a mocker; and I shall bring a curse upon me, and not a blessing.‘ Breishis 27:12
Rivka answered: And his mother said unto him: ‘Upon me be Your curse, my son; only hearken to my voice, and go fetch me them.’ Breishis 27:13
Rashbam comments; עָלַי ‘Upon me—means upon my shoulders, because she trusted in the prophecy that God had told her when she traveled to the yeshiva of Shem and Ever, to inquire as to why her pregnancy was so tumultuous, as the Torah states: And the children struggled together within her; and she said: ‘If it be so, wherefore do I live?’ And she went to inquire of the LORD And the LORD said unto her: two nations are in your womb, and two peoples shall be separated from your bowels, and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger. Breishis 25:22-23
This prophecy was given to her 64 years earlier[3]. She retained her faith in God’s prophecy for 64 years, until the moment she commanded Yaakov to don the sheepskin. Such was her determination to maintain her faith which was evident when she embarked on her life journey to marry Yitzchak. Thus, the outer appearance of her leaving the house of her family was aloneness—but the inner dimension was determination– in her trust in God.
How did Rivka develop this sense of determination to trust and follow Hashem?
The Torah states: And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebecca, the daughter of Besuel the Aramean, of Paddan-aram, the sister of Lavan the Aramean, to be his wife. Breishis 25:20.
The Maharal asks why the Torah goes into such detail about Rivka’s lineage when we already knew that she was רִבְקָה the daughter of Besuel the Aramean, of Paddan-aram, the sister of Lavan the Aramean…?
The Maharal explains that there are three spheres of influence in a person’s life: his parents, his siblings, and his community, represented by Besuel, Lavan and Padan Aram, respectively. Rivka had such a sense of independence, internal drive, and vision, that she was able to resist the influences around her, and rose to become a baalas chessed to the extent that she was worthy to become of one of the Matriarchs of Israel.[4]
Rivka forged an independent identity while in the house of Besuel, and was effectively alone in his house—alone and independent in her ideas, values, and midos. This aloneness is not prone to emotional loneliness, rather it gives rise to a sense of purpose and destiny, which allowed her to overcome her emotional angst at leaving her family at such a young age.
[1] Breishis Rabba 60:12
[2] Breishis Rabbah 60:16
[3] Yaakov was 63 when he left Canaan, he learned for 14 years in the Yeshiva of Shem and Ever, and worked 7 Years for Rachel—making him 84 when he married.
[4] Parshas Toldos, R’ Zalmen Sorotzkin
This essay is an excerpt from Alone Against the World-the Torah Antidote to Loneliness, by Rabbi Yisroel Rollhttp://www.feldheim.com/authors/roll-rabbi-yisroel.html