And the pig, because it has a cloven hoof that is completely split, but will not regurgitate its cud; it is unclean for you. (Vayikra 11:8)
And Eisav saw that the daughters of Canaan were displeasing to his father Yitzchok. So, Eisav went to Yishmael, and he took Machalat, the daughter of Yishmael, the son of Avraham, the sister of Neviot, in addition to his other wives as a wife. (Breishis 28:8-9)
to his other wives. He added wickedness upon his wickedness, for he did not divorce the first ones. – Rashi
Eisav is the paradigm of what we would call in the English language, “hypocrisy”. He is acting outwardly Kosher but with truly sinister intentions inwardly. That is the model of the Chazir, which we revile, and the paradigm of the hypocrite. When Eisav saw that the daughters of Canaan were displeasing to his parents, he did not distance himself from them. He rather took the daughter of Yishmael. This is all outward gesturing, symbolism without substance. That is the height of hypocrisy.
I remember having a sensitive discussion with my beloved grandmother, who lit Shabbos candles her entire life. She was telling me that she tried to encourage her younger sister to do the same but her sister told her, “I don’t keep Kosher, so if I light Shabbos candles, I would be a hypocrite!”
Something bothered me about that response, at the time, but I was not yet armed with an important distinction. Would she really be a hypocrite or would she merely be inconsistent!? Aren’t we all, in many subtle and overt ways, inconsistent? The minute I Kosher one dish in my house or take any step in the right direction, I would immediately be inconsistent. What is the difference between being inconsistent and hypocrisy?
If a person comes to lay a carpet in my living room and he stops somewhere in the middle of the job, is he immediately and certainly criminally wrong?
The rug is full of bumps and not every corner is buckled down. If he goes out to his truck and eats his lunch, the lack of job completion is only an indicator that more work is yet to be done. Why should I panic and come to false conclusions? However, if he enters his truck, revs the engine, heads home and sends me a bill, thereby declaring that he considers the job is complete, then I’ll have my lawyer on the phone at the drop of a carpet nail.
When one projects to the world that he is the archetype of virtue – the model of perfection, as if the job is already complete, crowning his imperfections and institutionalizing his faults as noble ideals, these are invitations to be titled hypocrite.
The Torah cries out to us, “Become Holy!” Does that mean that we are automatically HOLIER or better than anyone else?! No way! I had a sign hanging in my office, with a photo depicting a group of people climbing a steep mountain linked together by a rope like a charm bracelet, and the giant caption read, “DIRECTION! NOT PERFECTION!”
I once asked Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski, “What’s self-esteem?” He answered in a heartbeat, “Healthy self-esteem means seeing your good points and bad points simultaneously.” I realized that the operative word is “simultaneously”. If somebody only sees their good points then they are at risk of becoming haughty. If they only see their bad points, then they will tend to give up before even trying. If one sees their good points and their bad points alternately, they are taking off excitedly and then crashing again and again. But if somebody sees their bad points and they’re good points simultaneously, then they never get too low because they know that they have something special to offer and they never get too high because they understand that they have faults. I saw a phrase that caught my eye, “I can be both a masterpiece and a work in progress!”
Becoming Holy is developing that work in progress, adding to the masterpiece. Hypocrisy may creep in the moment we quit trying.