We begin this week’s reading with a new king in Egypt, “who did not know Joseph‌”‌‌‌ [1:8].The Talmudic Sages Rav and Shmuel argued whether this was truly a new king, or whether the same one changed his attitude and his decrees.

We know, of course, that Pharoah’s attitude was one of vicious hatred. He enslaved the Jews, ordered their boys be killed, and refused to even grant them freedom to leave.
But what does it mean, that he “didn’t know” Yosef? Obviously, Pharoah’s approach began with his lack of gratitude. Yosef had saved Egypt from famine, enriched the country, and established its international dominance. For Pharoah to turn on Yosef’s family, whom the earlier Pharoah (if not he himself) had invited to settle in Egypt in the first place, was the ultimate in repaying kindness with cruelty.

Judaism teaches that gratitude is a fundamental part of our character, and teaches us to be the opposite of Pharoah. Even the very name of our people, Jews, comes to us because Leah said, when she gave birth to her fourth boy, that “this time I will thank Hashem!” The word for acknowledging kindness and showing gratitude is what gave Yehudah his name.

Of course, this begins, as Leah showed us, with gratitude to our Creator. Literally the first thing we are enjoined to do when we wake up, even before leaving our beds, is to acknowledge and thank Hashem for granting us another day. Throughout the day, we say blessings that acknowledge Hashem’s kindness—even those regarding observances first recognize that G-d sanctified us with His Commandments, and then specifies the Command we are about to observe.

In Temple times, the person who survived a life-threatening journey or illness would bring a Korban Todah, a thanksgiving sacrifice. That offering required such a large amount of bread be prepared and eaten that a person was obligated to share with others, spreading the evidence of G-d’s kindness.

But this, of course, translates to recognition of kindness from other people, as well. On the contrary, our Sages teach that if we cannot acknowledge the kindness of others around us, whom we can see, then we cannot truly show gratitude to Hashem, whom we cannot.

Well over a decade ago, I remember traveling to another city to attend a wedding. We arrived at the home of a friend of my wife’s, and they permitted me to shower and prepare there. They regarded it as a trivial thing, but due to other stresses of that day it was, to me, a tremendous kindness.

The opposite is true, as well. We may not recognize, from our own perspective, the effort and inconvenience to others when they are generous to us with their time or money. And we must, then, show gratitude according to the greater of the two sides, the effort of the giver or the benefit to us, to truly fulfill what is expected of us.

Let us strive, every day, both with Hashem and those around us, to be the opposite of Pharoah, and recognize every kindness!

Good Shabbos,

Rabbi Yaakov Menken