Jealousy is one of the most destructive feelings that a human being can
possess. Chazal (Pirkei Avos 5:28) count it amongst the three factors that
literally drive a person out of this world. This week’s Haftarah displays jealousy
in its truest colors and shows how a person can forfeit through it one’s basic
human character. Let us study this beastlike nature and reveal the root of its
terrible drive. Hopefully, this will put us in a better position to uproot this terrible
trait from our general approach to life.
The King’s Startling Scheme
The Haftarah records the first court ruling that the wise Shlomo Hamelech rendered
after assuming his mantle of leadership. It speaks of two women who shared living
quarters and gave birth around the same time. Unfortunately, misfortune struck one of
them and her child perished in his sleep. A dispute developed over the true identity of
the remaining child and the matter was brought to the new king’s court. One of the
ladies claimed that while she was sleeping her fellow tenant kidnapped her live child
and replaced him with her dead son, while the other totally denied the accusation.
Shlomo immediately ordered for a sword to equally divide the live child amongst the two
women. The true mother cried out and pleaded with the king to spare her child’s life and
to give him to the other mother. But the latter calmly accepted Shlomo’s judgment and
agreed to the slicing of the child. Shlomo immediately ruled that the woman who
frantically expressed her compassion for her son was his true mother.
This incident exposes the ugly nature of jealousy and displays how destructive and
corrupt it can be. However, it is startling to think that Shlomo could have confidently relied
upon his scheme to expose the truth. One could question, even if the child did not belong
to the imposter wouldn’t she, at the very least, show some degree of human compassion
for the baby? In addition, why didn’t Shlomo consider the possibility that the alleged
kidnapper would attempt to act out her role to perfection? Since, no true mother would
permit the slicing of her own child would she not realize that she would reveal her identity
through her silence?
Jealousy: An Innate Need for Equality
We must conclude from these questions that we do not fully understand the savage
feeling of jealousy. The reason for this is because we interpret jealousy to mean the
desire for and the possible pursuit of the belongings or accomplishments of someone
else. We understand that when one discovers an article or quality of interest in the
possession of another, one covets that article or quality and wishes to make it one’s very
own. In truth, the repulsive trait of jealousy goes much deeper than that and is rooted in
an innate need for absolute equality. A jealous person cannot tolerate the fact that
someone else has more than he or she, and is therefore compelled, at all costs, to be on
par with the other person. In the jealous person’s mind, it doesn’t really matter whether
both or neither possess the article or quality, all that really counts is that they are both
equal!
Malbim highlights this thought through the analysis of the wording in each woman’s
claim in today’s Haftarah. It states, “One woman said, ‘No, my son is the live one and
yours is dead’, and the other said, ‘No, your son is dead and mine is alive.’” (Melachim I
3:22) Malbim notes the different priorities in the women’s statements. The first woman
prioritized the well-being of her son, but the other prioritized the death of her neighbor’s
son. He explains that those subtle words revealed to Shlomo the true intent of the
imposter. What disturbed her was that the live child belonged to someone else while her
own child was dead. She could not tolerate the fact that her friend would enjoy her own
child while she could not. It did not really matter whether she would receive the live child
or not, as long as her roommate would also not receive him. She, therefore, emphatically
stated that her roommate’s son was dead and expressed her primary concern that her
fellow tenant should not be entitled to enjoy her own live child.
Shlomo Reveals the Imposter
Shlomo listened carefully to both women’s words and discovered the imposter’s true
focus. He therefore put her through the test and anticipated with confidence that her
hidden motive would surface. And so it was! Indeed, she was caught off-guard by the
king’s ruling, and without contemplating the consequences of her silent reaction, she
exposed the truth. Once she heard the soothing words of equality, “both or neither,” she
became content with her situation. Now that her jealousy had been silenced, she had no
inner desire to obtain and raise someone else’s child. So, without thinking about the
consequence of her silence, she agreed to Shlomo’s horrifying verdict. It did not matter
to her if she received the live child or not, as long as her roommate would not enjoy any
better life than her.
This ugly character trait sometimes finds expression in our personal reaction towards
the fortune of others. The following incident depicts a jealous person’s perverted sense
of goodness. Two close friends were enjoying a pleasant, joyful conversation until one of
them nonchalantly related to the other that an acquaintance of theirs had won the grand
lottery. The conversation immediately dropped, and one of the friends suddenly
remembered that she must return home to tend to an important matter. Later in the day
she received a phone call from her close friend that she had erred; and that it wasn’t
their acquaintance who won the lottery, but someone that they did not even know. After
receiving that soothing phone call, the friend’s day seemed to have brightened, and the
two friends resumed their pleasant, joyful conversation.
Jealousy: Why Not Me!?
We must admit that this reaction sometimes occurs in people’s lives. But the question
begs to be asked: Why do goodness and fortune of others yield sadness and darkness,
while absence of goodness and fortune of others restores joy and brightness? The
unfortunate answer is that jealousy is rooted in a need for equality, not in a desire to
possess goodness. One does not generally expect to win the grand lottery, but if one’s
friend did, the former is torn by the fact that he or she did not also enter and possibly
win.
Our conclusion from here is that jealousy means the unwillingness to accept that
someone can possess something that he or she does not. Although this drive translates
into a strong interest in obtaining someone else’s article or quality, the true interest is for
equality. This hidden reality exposes itself when one finds oneself mysteriously calmed
after one’s friend forfeited the coveted article. Suddenly the drive is gone and one seems
to no longer need the article that the friend once possessed.
The imposter in today’s Haftarah was absorbed by a tangible sense of base jealousy
and saw things in that perverted perspective. When presented with a “fair” solution to her
problem, she forgot to translate her jealousy into the positive interest of the well-being of
the baby, but instead remained with her savage need for equality. Shlomo contacted her
true inner drive and exposed her secret identity by luring her into his trap.
Silent Tinge of Jealousy
This fundamental understanding of jealousy sheds light on the infamous sale of Yosef
alluded to in this week’s Parsha. In last week’s Parsha the Torah revealed the underlying
cause for the sale of Yosef and stated, “And the brothers were jealous of him.” (Bereishis
37:11) Chazal explain that when Yaakov made a colorful band for Yosef it produced a
silent tinge of jealousy in the hearts of the brothers. (Shabbos 10b, Rashi) Yosef’s band
represented his superiority over the brothers and his special position in the heart of his
father, Yaakov. Although the brothers felt justified in their position towards Yosef’s pursuit
of authority, the Torah reveals that their perverted perception was caused by jealousy. As
we explained regarding last week’s Parsha, the brothers mistakenly believed that Yosef
was unintentionally threatening their physical and spiritual existence. He appeared to be
so absorbed in his religious fervor and in his self-appointed mission that he became
totally insensitive to the brothers’ feelings and literally endangered their lives with his
religious zealousness.
The reality was that Yosef was so above any trace of self-righteousness that he did
not even entertain the possibility, at the time, that his brothers saw him in that light.
Therefore, when he eventually presided over the land of Egypt, he developed an
ingenious scheme to prove his innocence and pure intentions. In addition to the
secretive favors and special grace that he showed his brothers, he elicited their total
self-sacrifice on behalf of their youngest brother, Binyamin. In the heat of the brothers’
heart-rending plea on behalf of the welfare of their aged father, Yaakov and their
precious brother Binyamin, Yosef revealed his true identity to his brothers. They
immediately realized their mistaken perception and retroactively understood why they
had not displayed similar concern for Yosef as for Binyomin when they sold Yosef as a
slave. They finally discovered the tinge of jealousy that had been buried in their hearts
and that had misguided them and caused them to view all of Yosef’s actions in a
perverted manner. (Beis Haleivi to Vayigash)
Rav Shmuel Meltzan proclaims that the jealous feeling was so deeply hidden inside
the brothers’ hearts that they had no clue that it was affecting their perception and
judgment. Only after Yosef revealed himself to his brothers and showed them his true
love and compassion for them did they discover their silent destructive propellant.
(Comments to Even Shlomo 4:19)
Equality or Superiority
But one point remains unclear. Since the brothers’ reactions stemmed from jealousy,
why didn’t they aspire to attain Yosef’s degree of superiority? Since they were disturbed
by Yosef’s special closeness with his father, why didn’t any of them attempt to obtain
similar or even greater closeness to their father? The sad reality was that instead of
engaging in drawing nearer to their father, Yaakov, they instead distanced themselves
from their brother, Yosef, and minimized his position of authority. One should question,
since they were driven by jealousy, why didn’t it yield a positive interest and desire to
attain Yosef’s greatness?
In light of this week’s Haftarah, we can attempt to explain the brothers’ behavior. As
proven above, jealousy means a non-compromising need for absolute equality. It really
doesn’t matter if both achieve the coveted status or if neither attain it, all that counts is
that everyone is equal. We can conceivably explain that the brothers, although not
realizing it, could not tolerate their younger brother’s status of superiority. In truth, they
had no interest in superiority, rather a strong need for equality. In order to satisfy their
interest, they were secretly driven to remove Yosef from his coveted position.
Unfortunately, their drive for equality eclipsed the true perception of their brother and led
them to remove Yosef from his position of superiority. They, therefore, resumed their life
after the troublesome Yosef was removed from the scene.
Sincerely Forgiving His Brothers
The Torah records in Parshas Vayichi that the brothers never forgave themselves for
their mistaken judgment and that even after Yosef comforted them and showed that he
did not harbor any ill feelings towards them, they could never fully accept it. Conversely,
Yosef, who had sincerely forgiven his brothers, became the hallmark of Jewish
brotherhood. Indeed, Chazal explain that the Jewish people say to Hashem in Shir
Hashirim — the Song of Songs, “If only they could merit that Hashem relate to them in
the same manner that Yosef did to his brothers.” (Yalkut Shimoni to Yeshaya 443)
We pray to Hashem that the entire Jewish nation cleanse itself from its shameful
feelings of jealousy and that we merit Hashem’s total forgiveness and acceptance in our
nearest future.