May my soul die the death of the upright and let my end be like his.” (Bamidbar 23:8-10)
Bilaam’s schizophrenia is on open display here. Brilliantly he envisions the superior role of the Jewish Nation in history and still he remains the same. Why does he not run to join the Jewish Nation? He expresses his desire to have his death be like that of the most righteous and the wish that his ultimate end be like theirs. He wants to die peacefully in this world and be welcomed into the next and then be revived for the curtain call of history with the greatest protagonists of all time. He states that he wants it but he does nothing about it.
Bilaam is like that fellow who sees a sign in front of a diner that reads, “Second cup of coffee free”. When he enters, he right away orders for the second cup of coffee. The waiter promptly reminds him, “In order to get the second cup of coffee for free you have to have the first cup.” Similarly, I have heard people jokingly say, “If I would have known how wonderful being a grandparent is I would have skipped being a parent and gone right to being a grandparent!” Of course, it’s not possible! You have to be a parent first. That’s apparent. If you want the next world you need to work here in this world.
The terms this world and the next, OLAM HAZEH and OLAM HABA are lacking in parity. OLAM HAZEH” – “THIS WORLD” refers to the world we live and breathe and act in for 70 or 120 years. “OLAM HABA” – is literally “THE WORLD TO COME”. That is where we reside forever as spiritual entities, the beings that we became through our journey in this world. It is not a completely different realm at all. It is an extension of, an expanded version of whatever we attained in THIS WORLD, this realm. The good news is that everything we do lasts forever, and the bad news is that everything we do lasts forever. Now, we can begin to appreciate the value of that gift called Teshuvah, so that we can edit our life before the print button is suddenly pressed.
The Pyramids are no doubt engineering marvels, a symbol of human genius. It occurred to me recently that they are true monuments to the desperation of the human condition. We have the wealthiest and most successful people on the planet, with absolute power and authority, and in the face of oblivion, knowing full well that they cannot take it with them, spare no effort trying to, anyway. The enormity of their existential angst, nausea, forlornness, and despair remains on display in perpetuity.
The Chovos HaLevavos tells a surrealist tale of the practice of a tribe living on an island. They would appoint a new king for a short period of time. In the case of one king, after having finished his term, he was approached by attendees to strip him of his royal robes. He asked, “Now what will become of me!?” They showed him through a telescope a barren island. Then, with great protest and in a mournful and disappointed state he was transferred there.
A second king is appointed and he asks right away, “How long will I be King? Where do I go after I am King?” His attendees tell him the approximate time frame and show him another blank island designated for him. This king spends all his time and energies populating that island with buildings and books and gardens and goodies that will happily sustain him in perpetuity. When the time comes for him to depart to the island, he happily yields the royal robes and longingly anticipates his arrival at the island paradise he created during his term as king.
This is each of us. We are like kings, in this world with free will. The first scenario is like Pharaoh trying futilely to hold on to his position and possessions in this world. The second is the wise man, who knowing this world is temporary, invests his energies in that which has everlasting value, like gaining Torah Wisdom, a deep appreciation for and devotion to HASHEM, doing Mitzvos, and performing acts of loving kindness, because these are the currencies of all currencies.