This is the law of the Nazirite: On the day of his completing his Nazirite period, he shall bring himself to the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. Bamidbar 6:13)

The Sforno makes a remarkable observation about the Nazir’s prescription for concluding his term as a Nazir. He finds it in the words, “he shall bring himself”. This is unusual. In other situations where people have finished a cleansing or curing situation, they need to be brought. There is a Talmudic principle that “AIN CHAVUSH YOTZEI ES ATZMO M’BEIS ASSURIN” – “A prisoner cannot release himself from prison”.

Therefore, for a Sota she has to be brought by her husband, and a Metzora must be brought to the Kohain, and a servant must be brought to the judge by his boss, but the Nazir brings himself. The Sforno explains that because he initiated this process by himself, and made himself in many ways into a different person, there is no one more honorable, and it is unnecessary that he be escorted or led by anyone else.

A great emphasis is placed on this singular point. The Nazir submitted himself to this extra spiritual regimen of Nazirus. Why is that so great and praiseworthy? The question is asked, “How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?” The answer is, “One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.” I have an amendment to that joke. The answer is zero. Once the person wants to change, what does he need the psychiatrist for?

The Tamud Brochos (7A) tells us, “And Rabbi Yoḥanan said in the name of Rabbi Yossi: A single regret or pang of guilt in one’s heart is preferable to many lashes administered by others that cause only physical pain…And Reish Lakish said that in the TANACH, it seems that such remorse is preferable to one hundred lashes, as it is stated: “A rebuke enters deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred lashes to a fool” (Proverbs 17:10).

The sages say, “Di L’Chachima B’Ramiza”, a hint is good enough to a wise person. This is the basis for a speech I give at least once a year, especially to older boys. You can save yourself a lot of pain and sorrow, headaches and heart aches if you learn to “get it” with a hint. Many wives, most mothers in law and all principles know how to give “that look”. That’s all it should take to pause and reconsider and realign.

If someone has to be told over and over again and explicitly and then only with high drama then it can be costly. When a person reminds himself from within without having to be told directly, that spares him from one hundred problems.

There’s a cute line, a silly play on words that I didn’t quite understand its true depth. “Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver”. Then I stumbled upon an image of a person with silver duct tape sealing his mouth next to another person sitting comfortably quiet. Then it dawned on me. Gold is more valuable than silver. If a person is made to remain silent even through external coercion then the silence is still meaningful. However, when a person can refrain from speech on his own then that silence is worth much more. It’s golden!

The Ibn Ezra refers to the Nazir as “a wondrous individual” because most of the world is following after their appetites and the Nazir, on his own, in order to glorify HASHEM, consciously and purposefully steers away from certain natural tendencies. It’s no wonder that the word NAZIR actually can mean a crown. He wishes to be clean in his thinking and crown HASHEM, and so he himself is crowned with holiness.

I saw a phrase that applies to each of us and in particular to the mindset of the Nazir, “Always act like you are wearing an invisible crown.” Our sages say, “Kol Yisrael Bnei Malachim Heim- All Jews are Children of Royalty”. We are princes and princesses. A head of self-control is befitting us as a golden crown.