Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters. They came to draw water, and filled the troughs to water their father’s flock; but shepherds came and drove them off. Moses rose to their defense, and he watered their flock. When they returned to their father Reuel, he said, “How is it that you have come back so soon today?” They answered, “An Egyptian rescued us from the shepherds; he even drew water for us and watered the flock.” He said to his daughters, “Where is he then Why did you leave the man? Ask him in to break bread.” Moshe consented to stay with the man, and he gave Moshe his daughter Zipporah as wife. (Shemos 2: 16-21)
I have a theory. This may be the address to launch my thesis. Everybody makes their own Shidduch- marriage match. Sure there are many other angels and agents involved but the people themselves must have done something to distinguish themselves. Try it on in your own mind and see if it fits. It seems to have worked for Moshe and for Yaakov as well, at the well.
I recently heard a story from a friend. A young lady in Jerusalem was feeling desperate for a Shidduch. She really wanted to get married but nothing was happening. She went to visit Reb Chaim Kanievsky in Bnei Brak. He gave her a blessing and advised her to buy a Tallis. (A bride traditionally purchases a Tallis for her groom). She acted on his advice and went into a Seforim Store in Jerusalem to purchase a Tallis.
The saleswomen who attended to her asked her what size Tallis she was looking for. The young lady shrugged her shoulders and foolishly admitted that she did not know. “How tall is your Chosson?” She was asked. “I don’t know!”was the response.” The saleswomen was confused. “You don’t know how tall your Chosson is?” Again the answer was shockingly “No!” But now she explained that she was following the advice of Reb Chaim.
The saleswomen was amazed and impressed that she took the words of the Reb Chaim to heart and acted upon them. She started thinking and wondering aloud in that moment. “I know a great family in Bnei Brak. They have a wonderful son. For some reason he has not found his Bashert yet. I am going to call them now and make a suggestion. I don’t have to tell you how this story ends. They met and got married and she bought her Chosson a Tallis.
This story I know very well. Don’t ask me how. A famous Morah teaching for more than 50 years in Queens, traveling daily from Monsey, had a marvelous and dedicated assistant one year.
Once a week she would travel in with a Maggid Shiur, a big Talmud scholar. This Rabbi had been very impressed with and spent extra hours learning with a young man whose high school was in the the same place as the evening Kollel he learned in. The father of that boy had asked him to keep his eyes open for a special girl. On one of those rides to Queens in the morning the elder Morah could not stop talking about the virtues of this girl who was her assistant. Not only was she good with the children, helpful, and cooperative in every way but she had shown her true colors in one extraordinary episode.
The Morah came to work one day ready to go later to a wedding. She brought with her to school her bag with all of her jewelry. By the end of the day the Morah was distressed by the realization that she could not find her bag of jewelry. Her husband had passed away years earlier and not only was there real value to the jewels within but sentimental value that made it irreplaceable. She was beside herself. The loyal assistant looked everywhere. She spent hours after school turning over everything. She searched tirelessly but with no result. They concluded that no one would have stolen it and that it must have been accidentally swept away with the garbage. By that time the garbage had been collected and taken away by the sanitation workers and it was “too late”.
This dedicated assistant would not be deterred. She called the Sanitation Department of New York and found out exactly where the garbage from this school was deposited in the Staten Island dump. It can’t be pretty there but she searched and then she found it, the jewelry bag. The Morah was amazed by her unstoppable determination and her power of empathy. She found more than the Morah’s jewelry bag that day. I don’t have to tell you how the story ends or how a new chapter in life begins.