The sons of Aaron, Nadav and Avihu, each took his fire-pan, they put fire in the them and placed them. A fire came forth from before HASHEM an alien fire that He had not commanded them. A fire came forth from before HASHEM and consumed them, and they died before HASHEM. (Vayikra 10:1-2)

Rabbi Akiva opines that the phrase “lifnei Hashem” – “before HASHEM” means they died within the Kodesh Hakedoshim. – Toras Kohanim

This is scary. One of the greatest days in human history was marred and scarred by this sudden tragedy. Many great scholars have played the role of forensic detectives to figure out what went so terribly wrong. Why exactly were they worthy of dying? If it is not explicitly spelled out then it must be by design purposely obscured. What are we underlings to conclude? Perhaps one thing is certain. Watch out! Be cautious in the realm of the HOLY. The holier an environment is, the higher the spiritual voltage.

The Mishnah states that the Kohain Gadol would sponsor a feast upon emerging safely (Yoma 7:4 [70a]). According to the Meiri, it would appear that the celebration was due to the Kohain Gadol’s safe emergence from the Holy of Holies. It seems this was a very risky venture to enter such a profoundly spiritual environment. It’s like an MRI machine. Hidden faults are exposed.

When America put a man on the moon, and I remember the day, it was cause for national celebration. Why the celebration? Did we all go to the moon? Of course not! When one man stood there, it was as if a part of each and every one of us had reached that rarified territory. There was a sense of collective pride and accomplishment.

So too when the Kohain Gadol on Yom Kippur, entered the Kodesh Kedoshim, that entirely sublime and holy realm, and he survived and exited alive, it was cause for national celebration. Did we all enter the Kodesh Kedoshim. No, of course not! When one man stood there it was as if a part of each and every one of us touched and was touched by that sacred place. It’s beyond a sense of collective pride and accomplishment. He truly represents the highest of our individual and national ambitions.

Unfortunately, when one lunatic acts out in a destructive way, everyone is shocked and deeply introspective. Why? It was the doing of one crazy person. Why all the personal angst? We understand there is great empathy for the victims but it gets everyone nervous about themselves. When Achan took spoils from Yericho, the entire Nation of Israel was blamed for the deed of one person. The Baalei Mussar explain that if one person did it, then 100,000 were quietly talking about it, and a few million were actively thinking about it. One person acted out on what too many others dreamed and fantasized about.

What is the difference between a crazy person and everyone else? One word! Filters! Before anything is manifest in the world it goes through three general check points, thought, speech, and action. Not everything we think about is spoken aloud. There is a filter between thought and speech. Not everything we speak about is acted upon. Again, there is a filter between what we say and what we are ready to act upon. Even in the world of thought, there is the thought of thought, the speech of thought, and the action of thought. A thought can be easily extinguished while it is just a thought of a thought.

A person thinks approximately 60,000 thoughts in the course of a day. To enter the Kodesh Kedoshim and survive one would probably have to be thinking 60,000 holy thoughts out of 60,000. That is 60,000 golden apples every day and all day. How many of our 60,000 thoughts are holy in the course of a day?

The Chofetz Chaim told a story about a young girl in the marketplace who was selling apples from her cart when a group of thieves came and started taking all of her apples. She was wailing about her plight and when a nearby vendor asked her why she was crying. She told him that the thieves are stealing all of her apples. He told her, “Why don’t you steal some apples too!” So many of our thoughts are hijacked and stolen by the thieves of the world around us, but we can steal back some holy thoughts, some golden apples as well. When we identify with the accomplishment of the Kohain Gadol, we are identifying with the possibility that a person can live such a holy existence and we are cherishing our golden apples.