These divrei Torah were adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi Yissocher Frand’s Commuter Chavrusah Series on the weekly portion: #1359 – Does A Tzadik Need A Matzeivah On His Grave? Good Shabbos!
Why Didn’t Yaakov’s Zechus Save His Daughter from Tragedy?
The incident with Dena in Parshas Vayishlach is very difficult to understand on many levels. “Now Dena – the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Yaakov – went out to look over the daughters of the land. Shechem, son of Chamor the Chivi, the prince of the region, saw her; he took her, lay with her, and violated her.” (Bereshis 34:1-2) Of course, this was a terrible disgrace. Dena’s brothers were outraged: “Shall our sister be treated like a zonah?” (Bereshis 34:31) Therefore, Shimon and Levi hatched their plot to have all the men of Shechem circumcised and then, when they were weakened from the operation, Shimon and Levi came in and killed out the entire city. This itself leaves room for a lot of discussion, and is something we have discussed over the years.
This year, I would like to share another topic, namely how did such a thing happen to the daughter of Yaakov Avinu? How was it that the zechus of Yaakov Avinu did not save his daughter from this terrible fate? There is a Medrash which addresses this. The Medrash points to a fault in Yaakov Avinu.
(Whenever Chazal point out a fault in the holy patriarchs, they are talking about the most nuanced of “aveiros” (sins). We cannot even call them “aveiros.” At most, we can call them “shortcomings.” We cannot project our foibles and weaknesses on Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. That would be a tragic mistake, because they are not regular people. They are the “Avos Hakedoshim” and we can’t ascribe to them the base aveiros that we commit. That having been said, Chazal do point out slight imperfections in the deeds of the Avos and this Medrash is one such instance.)
The Medrash quotes the pasuk in Mishlei “Don’t boast about tomorrow because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring” (Mishlei 27:1), and applies it to Yaakov Avinu. In the previous parsha (Vayetzei) when Yaakov made a deal with Lavan regarding the division of the sheep, he boasted: “…my righteousness will testify that none of the sheep of Lavan will be found in my flock” (Bereshis 30:33). Supposedly, this was a very valid thing for Yaakov to say. Yaakov’s righteousness, and specifically the way he dealt with Lavan all these years, was certainly beyond reproach! The Rambam cites Yaakov’s work ethic towards Lavan as the paradigm of how an employee must serve his employer. Therefore, Yaakov could legitimately say “my righteousness will testify for me.”
Nonetheless, regarding this comment, the Medrash says “Don’t boast about tomorrow because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring.” The Medrash chastises Yaakov: “Don’t be so confident of your righteousness; ‘tomorrow’ your daughter is going to go out and be violated.” The simple reading of the Medrash is that the Medrash is making a play on words between the expression “v’ansa bi tzeedkasi” (and my righteousness will testify for me) and the word “va’yane-ha” (and he violated her). That is how the Medrash knows there is some kind of connection here.
Obviously, the Medrash is saying that Yaakov said something wrong here to Lavan. What could be wrong with what he said? The answer is (again this is only “the finest of finest of imperfections”) that Yaakov Avinu was relying on his own accomplishments here. A person can never ever rely on his own accomplishments. A person must realize that every single day is a gift, and every single day he needs siyata d’shmaya (Divine assistance). What happened yesterday is absolutely no guarantee for what will happen tomorrow.
When a person is so confident about the future that he can say “let my righteousness testify on my behalf for the future” that is saying that there is a level of self-confidence (bitachon-atzmi), trusting in myself rather than in the Ribono shel Olam. A person never knows. No matter what has happened in the past, a person cannot assume “I am set!” For a person never knows what tomorrow will bring.
As confident as Yaakov was about his integrity in monetary matters, he was equally confident about the chinuch (education) that he gave to his sons and daughters. “I don’t need to worry about my children because as much as I put into my work, I put into my children. I raised only righteous children! – The Shivtay Kah!” (Twelve Tribes of the L-rd). However, this can even happen to your own daughter! Such things can happen if we have too much self-reliance!
The Punishment of Miriam Bas Bilgah
At the end of Maseches Succah, the Talmud relates an incident that occurred in the time of the Second Beis Hamikdash involving a certain “Miriam daughter of Bilga” from a family of Kohanim. Miriam abandoned her religion and married a Greek officer. When the Greeks entered the Beis Hamikdash (at the time of the Chanukah story) she kicked the mizbayach (altar) with her sandal and cried out “Wolf! Wolf! How long will you continue to consume the property of Israel and not come to their aid in their time of need?” The Gemara relates that when the chachomim heard about this incident, they fined the entire mishmar of Bilga, penalizing her family’s ability to partake in the future avodah in the Beis Hamikdash.
The Gemara asks why the whole family was fined for the misdeeds of one apostate daughter in the family. The Gemara famously answers that this retribution was appropriate because “the way a child talks in the street is based on conversation she heard at home. The expression of the children comes either from their father or their mother.” Miriam’s attitude – that the offerings upon the mizbayach were just a waste of Jewish money – did not originate with her. It came from her parents. Therefore, it was appropriate to fine the entire mishmar.
I once heard an interesting observation in the name of the Satmar Rebbe, zt”l. This Miriam intermarried. She became an apostate. For that, her family was not fined. But for cursing the mizbayach and calling the korbanos a waste of money – for that the chachomim threw the book at the family! The Rebbe explained that children sometimes go off the derech. It is not necessarily the parents’ fault. She might leave her religion. She might intermarry. These events cannot necessarily be blamed on her parents. But the way she talks – that came from somewhere. She got those attitudes from her home. These are things she picked up as a child from the way she heard her parents speak.
This is a lesson of the tremendous impact of parents’ influence on their children. Everything that takes place within the four walls of our homes gets stuck to the ears of our children. We may not think that they are paying attention but everything that we say and the attitude that we have are all picked up and remain. For this, we have great responsibility.
On the other hand, it is a two-way street. This phenomenon works for bad and it works for good.
There is a famous Rashi in the beginning of Parshas Behaaloscha. When Aharon Hakohen saw that neither he nor Shevet Levi participated in the dedication of the Mishkan (along with the other Princes listed at the end of Parshas Nasso), he became depressed. Chazal say that Aharon was told “Your portion is greater than their portion – for you will light the candles (of the Menorah).” The Ramban famously says that this does not refer to the lighting of the Menorah in the Beis HaMikdash but rather to the lighting of the Chanuka menorah throughout the generations until this very day, in commemoration of the heroics of the Maccabee Kohanim (who were descendants of Aharon).
The question is asked: Why is this a consolation prize? Aharon complained that he did not “contribute” as did the nessiyim (princes) who contributed personal offerings each day of the dedication of the Mishkan. This doesn’t answer the question. Where did Aharon have the opportunity to “contribute”?
The answer is: Why did Aharon Hakohen have great grandchildren who were moser nefesh for the mitzvah of lighting the menorah? From where did that come? It came from Aharon’s enthusiasm and passion for the lighting of the menorah. His inspiration to faithfully perform this mitzvah day after day is what carried on to his great grandchildren (the Maccabees) so that they too were moser nefesh to fight the wars of Hashem and clean up the Beis HaMikdash in order to light the menorah. That was Aharon’s contribution. The Ribono shel Olam told Aharon, “Your contribution is even greater than that of the nessiyim because your contribution will last throughout the generations. Therefore, you did contribute.” With that, the Ribono shel Olam appeased Aharon Hakohen.
Transcribed by David Twersky; Jerusalem [email protected]
Edited by Dovid Hoffman; Baltimore, MD [email protected]
This week’s write-up is adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi Yissochar Frand’s Commuter Chavrusah Series on the weekly Torah portion. A listing of the halachic portions for Parshas Vayishlach is provided below:
- # 033 – Nitel Nacht
- # 075 – Tombstones
- # 124 – The Seven Noachide Laws
- # 171 – The Prohibition Against Flattery
- # 217 – Terrorism: How May an Individual Respond?
- # 261 – Elective Surgery and Milah on Thursdays
- # 307 – The Difficult Childbirth
- # 351 – Tefilas Haderech
- # 395 – Free Will vs. Hashgocha Pratis
- # 439 – Executing a Ben Noach based On His Admission
- # 483 – Celebrating Thanksgiving
- # 527 – Matzeivah Questions
- # 571 – Bowing to a person
- # 615 – The Prohibition of Gid Hanasheh
- # 659 – The Father of the Bride: His Responsibilities
- # 703 – The Bracha on a Mitzva: When?
- # 747 – Is Self Defense a Defense?
- # 791 – Flattery Revisited
- # 835 – ‘You Look Great’ – Permitted Flattery?
- # 879 – Relying on Nissim
- # 923 – The Name of Binyamin
- # 966 – Matzeva and Other Cemetery Issues
- #1010 – Davening at Kever Rachel: Is it Permissible?
- #1054 – Ein Somchin al ha’Nes — Relying on Miracles
- #1097 – Tefilas Haderech: How Long Of A Trip?
- #1140 – Twins: Must The Younger One Be Me’chabaid The Older One?
- #1183 – Nichum Aveilim On Shabbos and Yom Tov
- #1227 – The Aufruf in Halacha and Minhag
- #1271 – The Postponed Bris: Never On A Thursday?
- #1315 – Did The Gadol Make A Mistake?
- #1359 – Does A Tzadik Need A Matzeivah On His Grave?
- #1403 – Can You Disguise Yourself To Hide Your Jewishness?
- #1450 – Saying Tehilim for a Choleh – What Should You Be Thinking?
- #1491 – Learning T’Nach at Night?
- #1535 – Matzeivah Shailos – One Matzeivah for Two People? English Dates on the Matzeivah?
- (2022) – The Torah Cares About Your Money
A complete catalogue can be ordered from the Yad Yechiel Institute, PO Box 511, Owings Mills MD 21117-0511. Call (410) 358-0416 or e-mail [email protected] or visit http://www.yadyechiel.org/ for further information.