These divrei Torah were adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi Yissocher Frand’s Commuter Chavrusah Series on the weekly portion: ##221, Exhumation: When Is it Permitted? Good Shabbos!

In this week’s parsha, Yosef brings his two children to his father Yaakov for a bracha (blessing). Yaakov gave Yosef’s children a tremendous bracha: “By you shall Israel bless saying, ‘May G-d make you like Ephraim and like Menashe’” (Bereishis 48:20). What a bracha! In the future, whenever the Jewish people would bless their sons, they would invoke the prayer that they should be like Yosef’s two sons: Ephraim and Menashe.

There is a very obvious question. Yaakov had twelve illustrious sons. Why didn’t Yaakov say, for example, that the perennial Jewish bracha would be “May you be like Yehudah and Yosef” or “like Yissocher and Zevulun”? Why did Yaakov single out these two grandchildren to be the prototypes of bracha?

Several meforshim (commentators) offer the following explanation, which I most recently saw from Rabbi Eliyahu Munk (1900-1978; Germany, England). Yaakov saw a special quality in Ephraim and Menashe that he did not have the opportunity to see in his own children. Yaakov’s own children were raised in the best of environments. They lived in the Land of Israel, in the house of the patriarch Yaakov, insulated from any bad environment. Granted, it is not trivial to raise good children even in the best of circumstances. However, there is nothing novel in the fact that Yaakov’s own children turned out well. It is no surprise if a child who is raised in Bnei Brak or Meah Shearim grows up as an observant Jew. However, if people raise a child in a city such as Sioux City, Iowa — where their family is, perhaps, the only observant Jewish family in town — and the child is subject to foreign influences from all of his surroundings — and nonetheless, the child grows up as a faithful Jew, that is truly a great accomplishment.

In preparation for generations of Jews spending so much of their time in galus (exile), Yaakov Avinu formulated the greatest bracha for the Jewish people to give over to their children. “May they be like Ephraim and Menashe.” Ephraim and Menashe were raised in the Sioux City, Iowa of their time. They were the only Jews in the entire country! They grew up knowing that so many things that they saw around them were not the way things should be. Despite this, they turned out just like Yaakov’s own children. This is the special bracha that the Jewish people would need — the ability to be raised in a non-Jewish environment and yet turn out to be good and honest Jews.

Chushim Ben Dan: Don’t Adjust to an Intolerable Situation

The Gemara (Sotah 13a) says that when the brothers arrived at Me’aras Hamachpela in Chevron to bury Yaakov, Eisav came and protested. There was one remaining plot in the burial cave. The previous burial plots were used for Odom, Chava, Avraham, Sora, Yitzchak, Rivka and Leah. Eisav claimed that the remaining plot belonged to him.

The sons of Yaakov responded that Eisav forfeited his right to the plot when he sold the birthright. Eisav counter-claimed, however, that he only sold the “double-portion” to which a first born was entitled. However, nowhere in the sale was it implicit that he was selling his own burial plot! The brothers responded that it was included in the sale. Eisav demanded that they produce the document of sale.

The brothers claimed that they did have the document, but that they had left it in Mitzrayim. Eisav insisted on delaying the burial until the brothers produced this deed of sale.

Who were the brothers going to send back to Mitzrayim? This was before the days of Federal Express. They sent Naftali, who was well known as the speediest runner among the brothers.

Chushim ben (the son of) Dan, who was deaf, inquired from someone about the delay and argument in the midst of the burial of his grandfather. Chushim was astounded when he was told what was happening. “Until Naftali returns from Mitzrayim, my grandfather should lie there in disgrace?” Chushim took a club and hit Eisav over the head and killed him. The Talmud concludes that this was in fulfillment of Rivka’s question, “Why should I lose both of you on one day?” (Bereishis 27:45).

This is amazing. Out of Yaakov’s twelve fine and upstanding children, and out of all the wonderful grandchildren, why was it that only Chushim ben Dan was sensitive to the intolerable nature of the situation? And why did the Gemara emphasize the fact that Chushim was deaf?

The Mir Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz (1902-1978; Mir Rosh Yeshiva; Lithuania; Kobe; Jerusalem), explains that this Gemara teaches us a remarkable fact of life. The difference between Chushim and the other children and grandchildren was that the others, unfortunately, became accustomed to the idea that their father would lie in disgrace until Naftali returned from Egypt. Why?

The answer is that it started gradually. First there was a claim. Then there was a counter-claim. Next came another counter-argument, etc. Everyone else became accustomed to the idea of the negotiations without stopping to think that the scene was a world class offense to the honor of Yaakov.

Since they all had time to adjust to this slowly developing situation, they gradually adjusted to the idea. However, Chushim was deaf and was not involved in the whole dialogue. When Chushim asked what was happening, he had not had time to adjust. He was suddenly hit by the whole terrible travesty of the situation in a single instant, as if he was hit by a load of bricks. Chushim, baruch Hashem (thank G-d), did not have time to adjust.

We learn a powerful insight into human nature from here. Human beings can become accustomed to anything. This phenomenon is both a bracha and a klala (curse). People could not live without the ability to adjust. Sometimes we find ourselves in terrible situations and we cannot imagine how we will survive. But, baruch Hashem, people are adaptable and resilient.

However, the terrible downside of this phenomenon is that we can become accustomed to anything — even to murder and violence. The first time a soldier kills in war, he is terribly distraught. But when someone kills for long enough and sees death so often — even that can be accommodated.

The lesson is that there are times when a person must say, “I’m not supposed to become accustomed to this. I should always react with disgust and revulsion to certain situations.”

Many students attend my shiur (class) as their ‘last stop’ in the Yeshiva. After my shiur, they often go out into the worlds of their professions. I often meet former students, a year or two later, and inquire, “So, how are things going?” They sometimes respond, “Terrible. I can’t take the office. I can’t take the dirt. I can’t take the lewd language. I can’t take the innuendoes; I can’t take any of it.”

I respond to them with a bracha — “You should always feel like that, because if you become accustomed to it, that is bad.” There are some situations in life to which we must always react with disgust. The acceptance of an intolerable situation is itself the beginning of the problem.

(Editor’s note: A few people asked why Chushim was justified in his act of killing Eisav. No one seems to have even criticized Chushim after he killed Eisav. Did Chushim do the right thing?

In response to this question, Rabbi Frand offered an explanation of why Chushim was right:

The Ramban in Parshas Vayishlach says that it was permitted for Shimon and Levi to kill the people of Shechem because they certainly were in violation of at least some of the Sheva Mitzvos Bnei Noach (seven laws commanded to Noach and his descendants) – avodah zarah (Idol Worship), gezel (stealing), and perhaps giluy arayos. As such, they were all chayav misah (deserving of death).

Perhaps this was the case by Chushim and Eisav. We know from Chazal that Eisav was in violation of several of the Sheva Mitzvos, including murder. As such, Eisav was chayav misah and could have been convicted by Chushim himself. Also, it could be that the very fact that Eisav did not let them bury Yaakov in a plot that he had sold constituted an act of gezel and as such, Eisav was chayav for that alone.)

Transcribed by David Twersky; Yerushalayim [email protected]

Edited by Dovid Hoffman; Baltimore, MD [email protected]

This week’s write-up is adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi Yissochar Frand’s Commuter Chavrusah Series on the weekly Torah portion. A listing of the halachic portions for Parshas Vayechi is provided below:

• # 037 – Establishing Time of Death
• # 079 – The Yissocher-Zevulun Partnership
• # 128 – The Sandik
• # 175 – Embalming, Autopsies, and Cremation
• # 221 – Exhumation: When Is it Permitted?
• # 265 – Yahrtzeit
• # 311 – Funerals in Halacha
• # 355 – Asarah B’Teves
• # 399 – Baruch Shem K’vod Malchuso L’Olam Voed
• # 443 – Aveilus Issues
• # 487 – Determining Date of Moshiach’s Arrival
• # 531 – Burial in Eretz Yisroel
• # 575 – Honoring an Older Brother
• # 619 – Fulfilling the Wishes of the Deceased
• # 663 – Belief in the Coming of Moshiach
• # 707 – Fasting on a Yahrzeit
• # 751 – The Rabbi: Master Or Slave?
• # 795 – Hatoras Nedorim – How Specific Must You Be?
• # 839 – Buying Cemetery Plot – Investing in Real Estate for Long Term
• # 883 – Evil Intentions – Do They Matter?
• # 927 – Yissocher – Zevulun Revisited
• # 970 – Being A Sandek – Does It Really Make You Wealthy?
• #1014 – Will We Make Pesach When Mashiach Comes?
• #1058 – Bentching Your Children on Friday Nights
• #1101 – Grandfather or Great Grandfather – Who Should be Sandek?
• #1144 – Supporting Someone To Sit and Learn: Must He Be Altruistic?
• #1187 – Can You Be Sandek More Than Once?
• #1231 – Day of Death or of Funeral? Customs and other Yahrtzeit Issues
• #1275 – I Don’t Want Hespedim at my Levaya – Must We Obey?
• #1319 – Honoring Your Parents Wishes After Their Death: How Far Must You Go?
• #1363 – Lesser of Two Evils: Being Buried in Non-Jewish Cemetery vs. Cremation – Which Is It?
• #1407 – Asking Mechila From An Offended Friend – Personally Or Through An Intermediary?
• #1451 – Burial in Eretz Yisrael – Is It Always A Good Idea?
• #1495 – Are You Ever Allowed to Argue with Your Father?
• #1539 – Should an Avail Move His Seat in Shul – Even On Shabbos?
• (2022) – Figuring Out When Mashiach Will Come – A Good Idea?

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