These divrei Torah were adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi Yissocher Frand’s Commuter Chavrusah Series on the weekly portion: Parshas Nasso #1383 Birchas Kohanim – Whose Mitzva Is It? Good Shabbos!

Manoach Was Given a Lesson As How To Raise His Son

In past years, I have shared a beautiful observation from Rav Shimon Schwab, z”l. I want to repeat this observation and add some very interesting additional insights that I recently found.

The Haftorah for Parshas Naso is the famous story of the birth of Shimshon, the Nazir. A malach (angel) comes to Manoach’s wife and tells her that although she is currently barren, she will become pregnant and have a son. She is warned not to consume wine or eat “tameh” (ritually unclean) food. Her son is to be a nazir from the womb for his entire life, and he will deliver Yisrael from the hands of the Plishtim.

The woman relays this message to her husband. Manoach then davens to Hashem to resend the malach to instruct them specifically how to deal with this to-be-born special child. Hashem answers Manoach’s prayers and the malach returns. After confirming that this was the same malach who had spoken earlier with his wife, Manoach asks the malach “Tell me, what are we to do with this child?”

The malach basically repeats the same message that he had earlier shared with Manoach’s wife: “Whatever I told your wife, that is what you should do…”

Rav Schwab asks three very basic questions:

1. Did Manoach not know the laws of nezirus? And even if he did not know them (the Talmud in fact says that Manoach was an am ha’aretz.), was it necessary to find a malach to teach Manoach the laws of nezirus?
2. Why did the Ribono shel Olam answer Manoach’s tefilla? Normally, Hashem does not send malachim around at the drop of a hat!
3. What did the malach add in his response to Manoach? Apparently, the malach just repeated the same answer over again that he had already told to Manoach’s wife a day or two earlier!

Rav Schwab makes a brilliant observation that is a basic principle in raising children. He interprets Manoach’s question to the malach as follows: How can I raise a child who is a nazir if I myself do not observe the practices of a nazir? The boy will see his father having his grapes and drinking wine. Why will he agree to abstain from these sweet delicacies himself?

Rav Schwab explains that the malach‘s response was as follows: Manoach, guess what? You need to become a nazir yourself! He bases this on a grammatical inference which is echoed by the Meshech Chochma in this very parsha: The malach tells Manoach: “All that I said to the woman, tishamare (shall be observed).” Tishamere can either mean “she shall keep” or “you shall keep.”

This, Rav Schwab says, is what the malach added when he returned a second time to speak with Manoach. The first time he said only “She shall keep (the laws of nezirus).” The second time, he is telling Manoach that he too must observe those laws. (Everything that I told her, you shall keep as well!)

This is a fine example of the old educational principle that “Do as I say, not as I do” never works! Therefore, in order to create a nazir in your family, you need to be a nazir as well.

Thus far, I shared the words of Rav Schwab, and as I mentioned, the Meshech Chochmah very briefly says the same thing. Now, I will share a pshat in a Rashi and an incredible Seforno.

The last pasuk in this week’s parsha says: “And when Moshe came into the Ohel Moed to speak with Him, he heard the voice communicating with him from atop the cover that was upon the Ark of the Testimony, from between the two cherubim, and He spoke to him.” There is a strange word in this pasuk: meedaber. Typically, the pasuk would say “and he heard the voice of Hashem midaber Elav (talking to Him), with a shva under the mem. What is this word, meedaber? Rashi comments and says that meedaber is equivalent to misdaber (a hispael (reflexive) verb, which conveys doing an action to oneself, meaning that the Ribono shel Olam was talking to Himself). The idea is that the Ribono shel Olam was not talking to Moshe Rabbeinu, but rather Moshe Rabbeinu overheard a conversation between the Ribono shel Olam and Himself.

It may be possible to interpret Rashi differently, but the Seforno in this week’s parsha says an amazing thing: On the words meedaber eilav, the Seforno comments “medaber beino l’bein atzmo” (The Ribono shel Olam was speaking to Himself and Moshe Rabbeinu was listening in). The Seforno explains: “If someone wants to have an effect on someone else, he must practice what he preaches.” He needs to preach the lesson to himself and become the object of his own instructions. That is how a person has an effect on people.

The Seforno is saying that Hashem was talking to Himself. He was saying over to Himself the whole Torah: “You shall be holy.” “You shall not sow mixed seeds.” This is the way a person has an effect on other people.

I don’t know if I would have ever come up with this pshat in the Seforno itself but there is a sefer from Rav Schach, zt”l, in which Rav Schach says the same thing:

When someone speaks to someone else and wishes to have his words have an effect on that person, it is necessary for the speaker to not only “talk the talk” but it is necessary for him to also “walk the walk.” It is impossible for someone who himself is somewhat lacking in yiras Shamayim (fear of Heaven) to preach Yiras Shamayim to others! Likewise, someone cannot chastise another person for not learning Torah with proper intensity when he himself is weak in this area. Rav Schach here cites both the aforementioned Rashi and Seforno.

The way to have an effect on others is to act that way yourself. The Ribono shel Olam sent that message to Klal Yisrael by virtue of the fact that when Moshe came into the Ohel Moed, Hashem was not talking to Moshe, but rather, as it were, Hashem was talking to Himself. The message being sent here is that the only way to have an effect on people is to become those people yourself.

To add to this, there is an interesting Baal Haturim in Parshas Beshalach. When Moshe Rabbeinu is supposed to split the sea, he is told “Lift your staff.” The Baal Haturim notes that the word harem (lift) only appears three times in all of Tanach:

“lift your staff” (in Parshas Beshalach) (Shemos 14:16),

“kashofer horeim kolecha ” (like a Shofar lift your voice) (Yeshaya 58:1), and

“horeim loch” (lift yourself) (Melachim II 6:7).

What do these three appearances of this word have in common? I saw a vort from the Kedushas Tzion, one of the Bobover Rebbes. He says an amazing thing: There are three ways to have an effect on children: #1 Lift the staff (i.e. – don’t spare the rod); #2 Lift your voice. Both of these techniques can be effective but they may have adverse effects in the long run. But number three is harem loch – Lift yourself up. When you lift yourself up (as a role model), that has the most effective impact on children. Again, this means not only “talk the talk” but also “walk the walk.” We saw this and learn this from none less a personage than the Ribono shel Olam Himself. Meedaber Eilav. Hashem talks to Himself and thus teaches Moshe Rabbeinu. The best way to reach is to raise yourself and become the best possible example to the child.

Transcribed by David Twersky; Jerusalem [email protected]

Edited by Dovid Hoffman; Baltimore, MD [email protected]

This week’s write-up is adapted from the hashkafa portion of Rabbi Yissochar Frand’s Commuter Chavrusah Series on the weekly Torah portion. A listing of the halachic portions for Parshas’ Nasso is provided below:

• 059 Sheitel: A Woman’s Obligation to Cover Her Hair
• 103 Birchas Kohanim
• 148 Sotah: The Case of the Unfaithful Wife
• 195 Birchas Kohanim: Who Can and Who Can’t?
• 241 Yichud and the Housekeeper
• 285 Sa’ar B’isha Ervah
• 331 NassoMust A Kallah Cover Her Hair at the Chasunah?
• 375 Ain Osin Mitzvos Chavilos
• 419 Causing the Erasure of Hashem’s Name
• 463 Dee’chui Eitzel Mitzvos
• 507 The Faithful Unfaithful Wife
• 551 Being Motzi a Wife in Kiddush
• 595 Chazonim and Chazanus
• 639 The Unfaithful Wife – Is Ignorance an Excuse?
• 683 Shalom Bayis – How Far Can One Go?
• 727 Singing During Davening – Pro or Con?
• 771 Ashkenazim, Sephardim and Bishul Akum,
• 815 The Laws of Sotah – Still Very Relevant
• 859 Walking Behind a Woman
• 903 Shavuous- Fascinating Halachos
• 947 Birchas Kohanim−Whose Mitzva−The Kohain or Yisroel?
• 990 Cutting Down A Fruit Tree for Home Expansion
• 1034 Ba’alas Teshuva Who Was Not Honest With Her Husband
• 1078 The Elderly Gentleman and the Female Nurse – A Yichud Problem?
• 1121 The Enigma of Shimshon HaGibor
• 1163 Avoiding Yichud: Must the Door be Open or Merely Unlocked.
• 1207 Listening to music – as mutar as you think?
• 1251 Sitting Next to a Woman on an Airplane
• 1295 Davening/Bentching/Making Kiddush in Front of a Woman Who Is Not Properly Dressed
• 1339 The Sole Practitioner Lawyer and His Jewish Secretary – A Yichud Problem?
• 1383 Birchas Kohanim – Whose Mitzva Is It?
• 1427 Giving Yasher Koach to the Kohain After Birchas Kohanim – Why?
• 1471 Birchas Kohanim – Why Only on Yom Tov?
• 1515 Some Fascinating Yichud Shailos
• 1557 Fascinating Facts About Bircas Kohanim That You Probably Never Knew
• 1599 Only One Kohen For Nesias Kapayim – Should He? Must He? Can He?

A complete catalogue can be ordered from the Yad Yechiel Institute, PO Box 511, Owings Mills MD 21117-0511. Call (410) 358-0416 or e-mail [email protected] or visit http://www.yadyechiel.org/ for further information.