Jealousy is one of the most destructive feelings that a human being can possess. Chazal (Pirkei Avos 5:28) count it amongst the three factors that literally drive a person out of this world. This week’s Haftarah displays jealous in its truest colors and shows how a person can forfeit through it one’s basic human character. Let us study this beastlike nature and reveal the root of its terrible drive. Hopefully, this will put us in a better position to uproot this terrible trait from our general approach to life.

The King’s Startling Scheme

The Haftarah records the first court ruling that the wise Shlomo Hamelech rendered after assuming his mantle of leadership. It speaks of two women who shared living quarters and gave birth around the same time. Unfortunately, misfortune struck one of them and her child perished in his sleep. A dispute developed over the true identity of the remaining child and the matter was brought to the new king’s court. One of the
ladies claimed that while she was sleeping her fellow tenant kidnapped her live child and replaced him with her dead son, while the other totally denied the accusation. Shlomo immediately ordered for a sword to equally divide the live child amongst the two women. The true mother cried out and pleaded with the king to spare her child’s life and to give him to the other mother. But the latter calmly accepted Shlomo’s judgment and agreed to the slicing of the child. Shlomo immediately ruled that the woman who frantically expressed her compassion for her son was his true mother. This incident exposes the ugly nature of jealousy and displays how destructive and corrupt it can be. However, it is startling to think that Shlomo could have confidently relied upon his scheme to expose the truth. One could question, even if the child did not belong to the imposter wouldn’t she, at the very least, show some degree of human compassion for the baby? In addition, why didn’t Shlomo consider the possibility that the alleged kidnapper would attempt to act out her role to perfection? Since, no true mother would permit the slicing of her own child would she not realize that she would reveal her identity through her silence?

Jealousy: An Innate Need for Equality

We must conclude from these questions that we do not fully understand the savage feeling of jealousy. The reason for this is because we interpret jealousy to mean the desire for and the possible pursuit of the belongings or accomplishments of someone else. We understand that when one discovers an article or quality of interest in the possession of another, one covets that article or quality and wishes to make it one’s very own. In truth, the repulsive trait of jealousy goes much deeper than that and is rooted in an innate need for absolute equality. A jealous person cannot tolerate the fact that someone else has more than he or she, and is therefore compelled, at all costs, to be on par with the other person. In the jealous person’s mind, it doesn’t really matter whether both or neither possess the article or quality, all that really counts is that they are both equal!
Malbim highlights this thought through the analysis of the wording in each woman’s claim in today’s Haftarah. It states, “One woman said, ‘No, my son is the live one and yours is dead’, and the other said, ‘No, your son is dead and mine is alive.’” (Melachim I 3:22) Malbim notes the different priorities in the women’s statements. The first woman prioritized the well-being of her son, but the other prioritized the death of her neighbor’s son. He explains that those subtle words revealed to Shlomo the true intent of the imposter. What disturbed her was that the live child belonged to someone else while her own child was dead. She could not tolerate the fact that her friend would enjoy her own
child while she could not. It did not really matter whether she would receive the live child or not, as long as her roommate would also not receive him. She, therefore, emphatically stated that her roommate’s son was dead and expressed her primary concern that her fellow tenant should not be entitled to enjoy her own live child.

Shlomo Reveals the Imposter

Shlomo listened carefully to both women’s words and discovered the imposter’s true focus. He therefore put her through the test and anticipated with confidence that her hidden motive would surface. And so it was! Indeed, she was caught off-guard by the king’s ruling, and without contemplating the consequences of her silent reaction, she exposed the truth. Once she heard the soothing words of equality, “both or neither,” she became content with her situation. Now that her jealousy had been silenced, she had no inner desire to obtain and raise someone else’s child. So, without thinking about the consequence of her silence, she agreed to Shlomo’s horrifying verdict. It did not matter
to her if she received the live child or not, as long as her roommate would not enjoy any better life than her.

This ugly character trait sometimes finds expression in our personal reaction towards the fortune of others. The following incident depicts a jealous person’s perverted sense of goodness. Two close friends were enjoying a pleasant, joyful conversation until one of them nonchalantly related to the other that an acquaintance of theirs had won the grand lottery. The conversation immediately dropped, and one of the friends suddenly remembered that she must return home to tend to an important matter. Later in the day she received a phone call from her close friend that she had erred; and that it wasn’t their acquaintance who won the lottery, but someone that they did not even know. After receiving that soothing phone call, the friend’s day seemed to have brightened, and the two friends resumed their pleasant, joyful conversation.

Jealousy: Why Not Me!?

We must admit that this reaction sometimes occurs in people’s lives. But the question begs to be asked: Why do goodness and fortune of others yield sadness and darkness, while absence of goodness and fortune of others restores joy and brightness? The unfortunate answer is that jealousy is rooted in a need for equality, not in a desire to possess goodness. One does not generally expect to win the grand lottery, but if one’s friend did, the former is torn by the fact that he or she did not also enter and possibly win.
Our conclusion from here is that jealousy means the unwillingness to accept that someone can possess something that he or she does not.

Although this drive translates into a strong interest in obtaining someone else’s article or quality, the true interest is for equality. This hidden reality exposes itself when one finds oneself mysteriously calmed after one’s friend forfeited the coveted article. Suddenly the drive is gone and one seems to no longer need the article that the friend once possessed. The imposter in today’s Haftarah was absorbed by a tangible sense of base jealousyand saw things in that perverted perspective. When presented with a “fair” solution to her problem, she forgot to translate her jealousy into the positive interest of the well-being of the baby, but instead remained with her savage need for equality. Shlomo contacted her true inner drive and exposed her secret identity by luring her into his trap.

Silent Tinge of Jealousy

This fundamental understanding of jealousy sheds light on the infamous sale of Yosef alluded to in this week’s Parsha. In last week’s Parsha the Torah revealed the underlying cause for the sale of Yosef and stated, “And the brothers were jealous of him.” (Bereishis 37:11) Chazal explain that when Yaakov made a colorful band for Yosef it produced a silent tinge of jealousy in the hearts of the brothers. (Shabbos 10b, Rashi) Yosef’s band represented his superiority over the brothers and his special position in the heart of his father, Yaakov. Although the brothers felt justified in their position towards Yosef’s pursuit of authority, the Torah reveals that their perverted perception was caused by jealousy. As we explained regarding last week’s Parsha, the brothers mistakenly believed that Yosef was unintentionally threatening their physical and spiritual existence. He appeared to be so absorbed in his religious fervor and in his self-appointed mission that he became totally insensitive to the brothers’ feelings and literally endangered their lives with his religious zealousness.
The reality was that Yosef was so above any trace of self-righteousness that he did not even entertain the possibility, at the time, that his brothers saw him in that light. Therefore, when he eventually presided over the land of Egypt, he developed an ingenious scheme to prove his innocence and pure intentions. In addition to the secretive favors and special grace that he showed his brothers, he elicited their total
self-sacrifice on behalf of their youngest brother, Binyamin. In the heat of the brothers’ heart-rending plea on behalf of the welfare of their aged father, Yaakov and their precious brother Binyamin, Yosef revealed his true identity to his brothers. They immediately realized their mistaken perception and retroactively understood why they had not displayed similar concern for Yosef as for Binyomin when they sold Yosef as a slave. They finally discovered the tinge of jealousy that had been buried in their hearts and that had misguided them and caused them to view all of Yosef’s actions in a perverted manner. (Beis Haleivi to Vayigash) Rav Shmuel Meltzan proclaims that the jealous feeling was so deeply hidden inside the brothers’ hearts that they had no clue that it was affecting their perception and judgment. Only after Yosef revealed himself to his brothers and showed them his true love and compassion for them did they discover their silent destructive propellant.
(Comments to Even Shlomo 4:19)

Equality or Superiority

But one point remains unclear. Since the brothers’ reactions stemmed from jealousy, why didn’t they aspire to attain Yosef’s degree of superiority? Since they were disturbed by Yosef’s special closeness with his father, why didn’t any of them attempt to obtain similar or even greater closeness to their father? The sad reality was that instead of engaging in drawing nearer to their father, Yaakov, they instead distanced themselves from their brother, Yosef, and minimized his position of authority. One should question, since they were driven by jealousy, why didn’t it yield a positive interest and desire to attain Yosef’s greatness?

In light of this week’s Haftarah, we can attempt to explain the brothers’ behavior. As proven above, jealousy means a non-compromising need for absolute equality. It really doesn’t matter if both achieve the coveted status or if neither attain it, all that counts is that everyone is equal. We can conceivably explain that the brothers, although not realizing it, could not tolerate their younger brother’s status of superiority. In truth, they had no interest in superiority, rather a strong need for equality. In order to satisfy their interest, they were secretly driven to remove Yosef from his coveted position. Unfortunately, their drive for equality eclipsed the true perception of their brother and led them to remove Yosef from his position of superiority. They, therefore, resumed their life after the troublesome Yosef was removed from the scene.

Sincerely Forgiving His Brothers

The Torah records in Parshas Vayichi that the brothers never forgave themselves for their mistaken judgment and that even after Yosef comforted them and showed that he did not harbor any ill feelings towards them, they could never fully accept it. Conversely, Yosef, who had sincerely forgiven his brothers, became the hallmark of Jewish brotherhood. Indeed, Chazal explain that the Jewish people say to Hashem in Shir Hashirim — the Song of Songs, “If only they could merit that Hashem relate to them in the same manner that Yosef did to his brothers.” (Yalkut Shimoni to Yeshaya 443) We pray to Hashem that the entire Jewish nation cleanse itself from its shameful feelings of jealousy and that we merit Hashem’s total forgiveness and acceptance in our nearest future.